Keep calm and...go to school!

This is an historic occasion people.  A day to be remembered in history, a day to be celebrated by generations to come.  Today is the day {pause for effect} that all 4 of my kids {one more pause for good measure} are in school!  [Background cheering....by me]  Yes, Tyler in 6th grade, Jake in 3rd, Maggie in kindergarten and Joey in preschool!  Okay, so it may have been a stretch saying all my kids are "in school", but I will have a couple hours 3 times a week while Joey is in preschool that I can be childless.  Ah the freedom!  I'm most excited about the grocery store.  I made the "syntax error" (as Eric calls them) of letting Joey out of the cart to walk next to me at the store a while ago.  BIG MISTAKE.  Let me warn all you mothers of young 'uns to NEVER LET THEM WALK AT THE STORE unless you forever want it to be a battle of wills.  Once they taste the freedom they can't resist.  Strapping them in is futile--my kids could always climb out of those.  And even if you could strap them so tight they can't even breathe, you will still be listening to crying and whining the whole time.  Just trust me, don't do it.  Your kid won't be "different" or "better behaved."  You will just end up doing what I do and as your kids are running like wild animals down the aisles, you will look around with an expression on your face of, "Whose kids are those????"

But of course I do like to take credit for my kids when they are behaving.  Look at what a good looking bunch I've made (I guess Eric's genes helped too...)

Hooray for school!

I joke about things that are hard with kids, as most things are.  But with all the kids going to some type of school I have thought about things that are actually EASIER once you have kids....most things in life get quite a bit more difficult with the addition of little ones, but have no fear, there are a few things that actually get easier!

1-gaining weight.  And I'm not just talking pregnancy weight here.  It is WAY easier to put on some poundage once you have kids.  For starters there is less time to work out--it seems like no matter how early you try to get up, your kids beat you to it.  Plus snacking on their treats, finishing off their lunch plates, eating the crust you cut off their PBJ sandwiches...it all adds up people.

2-It gets way easier to decline an invitation to an event you DO NOT want to go to (so many options here, no sitter, kids sick, etc)--note: this also works for leaving an event/meeting early, getting off an annoying phone call...same excuses

3-eating sugary cereals for breakfast--let's face it, without kids you don't often get to buy the cereals you secretly yearn for (cocoa puffs, lucky charms, cinnamon toast crunch), you feel obligated to purchase oat bran, muesli, all fiber because you are a mature adult.  But now with kids, sneaking a bowl of something yummy at night is pretty simple.  (Actually, I try to stay away from cereals that are really offensive [Captain Crunch] but the first ingredient in Cinnamon Toast Crunch is whole grain wheat...take that. 

4-It becomes way easier to ignore other people's annoying/crying kids--mostly because you are just so relieved that finally this once it isn't your own kid

5-be a little lazy--I know, you think I am crazy, but despite the fact that having kids takes SO much energy, it has it's built in perks to avoid doing at least a few of the little things you don't want to do--"Joey, go get mommy a tissue!" "Tyler let the dog out" "Maggie will you get mommy a pen?" etc.

6-It's easier to appreciate the little things--the last box of diapers you ever have to buy, the first day of school, when your kids tell you they love you when you tuck them in, when your 5th grader does his homework without being asked, when they put their cup in the dishwasher instead of just the sink (although at times I'm grateful for the sink instead of leaving it out on the counter), when they can finally dress themselves (matching is overrated), when you put them to bed and they actually stay in bed...  little things that mean a lot.

7-to find an excuse to stay in your sweats all day...do we really need a reason?

8-to not judge other moms (you know, the way you did before you had kids) when their kids don't match, have messy hair, dirty clothes, snot on their face, scream in the store, you think to yourself that "My kids will NEVER (fill in the blank). Once you have kids it's no more -- we all know that we are all doing the best we can--its' tough out there!

9-it's easier to feel smart--your kids think you know everything, that's why they ask impossible questions...all the time.  We can feel intelligent helping them with their questions and homework.  That is until about 6th grade--but then we have the magic of the internet to look things up PLUS the ever favorite excuse of telling my kid to go back in their books and figure out how to do that algebra problem--he will learn it better by doing it himself.  

10-And finally it becomes so much easier to understand what true, unconditional, unfaltering, immense love is--who would have thought that someone so small could steal so much of your heart.

Sometimes parenting is "all joy and no fun", but it's the best worst time I've ever had.