Saturday, January 18, 2014

Mischief and Mayhem...aka Joey

There is a website out there called {ahem} *Stuff My Kids have Ruined. (*words have been modified to be less offensive)  I've never posted on it, but it gives me solace to know that other parents have a hellion in their midst.  Now all my kids were born stubborn--people like to call it "strong personalities"--but none were INTENTIONALLY naughty...that is, until now.  Joey is but a mere three years old, and he has already filled his life up with stories of destruction.  (You may recall that Jacob in his younger years was referred to as the "Destructor"--child's play, my friends...child's play.)  In the past 3 days alone he has: fed a neighbor's cell phone to our dog, who proceeded to chew it to pieces; pumped over half a bottle of soap in my newly cleaned glass sink, which then of course he got all over himself, the counter, the floor, the toilet....;  popped almost every key off my Apple wireless keyboard, of which I found all but 5 rendering the keyboard unusable (I am currently on the laptop); dipped his clean pull-up in the toilet then waved it around over his head splattering the bathroom with toilet water--again, the bathroom I had just cleaned.  The list goes on and on, but that was just the past 3 days.  He is constantly running away from me anywhere I go--stores, church, the yard...  In a matter of one minute while I was picking out the right size jeans for Tyler and Jacob at Walmart a few days ago, Joey managed to climb out of the cart (and yes, he was buckled in) and ran off and I couldn't find him.  Admittedly there was a split second where I thought of running off and letting him be someone else's problem--JUST KIDDING.  There I am in the kid section yelling his name.  Embarrassing.  He also colored on Ziggy with markers, spits on everyone and everything, drew with permanent marker on my nice chair and bedframe in my room, climbs to the top shelf of the pantry to sneak treats, etc.  It was so bad I even had to put a lock on Tyler and Jacob's room so Joey couldn't sneak in to steal/break/hide/destroy their things.  Now they keep it locked all day.  Oh my.  He gives me a run for my money.

If any of you out there are saying, "Well why doesn't she just stop him/discipline him?" I'd be willing to bet you either have no kids, or had very easy children who loved to please.  Take Joey for a day and then let me know what you think.  I have to admit, though, despite all that, he makes me laugh so much.  He can be very sweet and has the biggest, heartiest laugh of any little boy I know (that is, if you can get him to trade his signature scowl in for a laugh).  I love dearly despite my better judgement!  He gives huge bear hugs, he makes me sing him "Eye of the Tiger" before he goes to sleep at night (I love that), and just does funny things.  I know [hope] someday he will outgrow his naughtiness and channel his energy AWAY from the dark side and to good things.  Joey, I love you, now LISTEN TO ME!

                  Who needs the number 4 anyway?  And don't even get me started on "M"....

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Like Mother like daughter.

Anyone who knows me well will know I am what you'd call a "planner."  I am not so much a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of girl.  Sometimes I wish I were, but being a planner is not a bad thing.  But it can be taken to far--case in point:

Yesterday we went to the library and Maggie and Joey each picked out 3 books to bring home.  Although I am ashamed to admit it, we don't frequent the library too much (any of you who knows Joey knows why).  Maggie thought it was amazing and wonderful and marvelous.  I said to her, "Maybe we can come to library every Tuesday and pick out books since you liked it so much."  She thought for a minute and replied, "Well, maybe when I'm 15 or 16 and it's my birthday, and it's on a Tuesday, we will have to have a party first, and then we will have to do something else, and then something else, and maybe something else too.  But after we do all that then we can go to the library."  Now that's what I call planning ahead.